Sources close to the Vatican and the Obama administration have disclosed that Caroline Kennedy has been found unacceptable by the Vatican as the US ambassador to the Holy See. Rumours have flown across the Atlantic and back speculating on the supposed rejection.
Some suggest that her attempts at cloning her childhood pony, Yankee Doodle has violated the sanctity of equine life teachings of the Pope. Others believe that the fact that the frozen body of her father, American president JFK is seen as an insult to the Vatican dogma, Thou Shalt Not Freeze Thy Father and Mother.
The most common explanation of the Kennedy rejection is a linguistic one. The Vatican prefers ambassadors who can speak a variety of languages and the recent interviews with Princess Kennedy-Schlossberg has revealed that even her command of the American English dialect is severely limited to a lot of 'ers', 'ums' and pregnant pauses that never seem to give birth to any meaningful thought.