Written by Hydrogen Balloon
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Monday, 13 April 2009

image for Shroud Of Turin Accidentally Washed
The Shroud Meets Its Maker

DATELINE:VATICAN_CITY-- The Pope is crying tonight and is kicking himself in anger. He made a horrific mistake over the weekend and sent the Shroud of Turin to the dry cleaners by mistake! The remarkable image of a crucified man is lost forever.

Pope Benedict XVI recently sent the Shroud on a journey to verify its authenticity. The shroud came back Saturday, directly to the Pope's chambers as requested.

The pontiff returned to his chambers Sunday morning after getting stoned on incense vapors. Myrrh always gives him a nice buzz. He saw the Shroud and just assumed it was another piece of dirty laundry. He rolled his dirty socks and underwear with the Shroud and sent it off to be cleaned.

The whole lot was sent to Wo Fat Wong Nice Smell Dry Cleaner . Mr. Wong did the laundry himself and remembers the Shroud:

"Yeah, boss. I remember that nasty one. It was real old and piss yellow. Had nasty stain. Took lots and lots of scrubbing, like all his stuff. He real nasty man, that Pope." said Mr. Wong.

The owner was perplexed by the Pope's reaction.

"Pope guy came in store and yell real bad. He call me nasty name in German or something. He no pay bill for $7.99, even though I scrub Shroud real good for him." said the bewildered Mr. Wong.

The Pope still has the Shroud, but without the image of course. His Holiness hugged the Shroud close to his chest, and tried not to cry. The pontiff did notice the nice, clean smell despite his tears.

He decided to use the Shroud as a bed cover and started feeling a little better.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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