Written by Earl Grey
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Topics: Australia, Kangaroos

Monday, 13 April 2009

image for Aussie Roo Kill To Be Bounced Out Of Court
"Pull"

G'day from Wollongabbawollogabbadong. News just in. The massacre of kangaroos to be undertaken by government authorities is to be challenged. Activists have found plenty of support from local residents.

Recently kangaroo numbers have been increasing as the little blighters shag themselves silly. Populated areas have begun to face an invasion. In one case a resident of Wollongabbawollogabbadong had his bedroom invaded by a roo late at night. "My missus loved what was going down. The roo just kept jumping up and down on the bed mate. It was a bloody marvel."

However, the government had decided to act. The potential for a serious incident involving a small child is too great. "Fuck it, mate. We are just going to shoot the bastards" said Bruce, a government spokesperson.

The government believe that a cull is the only way to deal with the situation. Firstly other plans are expensive. And secondly if you live in the outback life is pretty boring. Now you have a reason to live. A target to aim for, so to speak.

The Australian government sees the issue as one of safety. But if they can make a few bucks killing one of their national symbols even better. Bruce Cole of the Nova Mews Kangaroo Society said "No worries mate. The sheila has been is bits about this. So we are not going to let this happen. It's going to be a bloody fight."

Aboriginal leaders have sided with the government as it makes a nice change to see something else get shot at.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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