Democracy has been indicted for the Crucifixion crime at Golgotha, a spokesman for the International Court of Justice at The Hague said. The trial will begin this summer at the Peace Palace.
The question "Jesus or Barabbas?" is well-known as the question Pontius Pilate posed to the crowd as to whom he should release. The crowd told Pilate to release Barabbas, and the indictment is based on this democratic decision.
The International Criminal Court and the International Court of Justice, both based at The Hague in the Netherlands, have been arguing for several years over the issue of in which court the case belongs. It was recently decided that the older International Court of Justice would take the case, as the Criminal Court, established as late as in 2002, only takes cases against individuals, whereas this case is a case against a form of government.
"It's high time this form of government is taken down from its pedestal and brought to justice," an unnamed source from the Acton Institute in Grand Rapids, Michigan, USA said. "It's been almost two thousand years. We hope for victory, and for other crimes of democracy to be brought before the court in the years to come."
Ms. Demos Apostle of Democracy Watch, on the other hand, said this is outrageous. "How can anyone question the goodness of democracy? Democracy is freedom! How can anyone even question that? How dare anyone even suggest that democracy needs to be brought to justice?"
Mr. Demos Worshipper of International Democracy Union said this is blasphemous. "How dare anyone drag our God Demos into a court? We will bring them before the International Criminal Court for crimes against democracy! And their supporters too!"
Mr. Mumbo Jumbo of Civil Rights Watch said we need to uphold the crystal clear image of democracy as the system where people are free and prosperous. "Bringing democracy before an international court distorts this crystal clear image, and we must do everything in our power to stop this madness and make people forget it ever happened."
An unnamed source, who refused to give his name in fear of his life, said it is a good thing that the real religion of our time is being challenged in an international court.
A White House spokesman declined to comment on whether the next war to spread democracy would be against the Peace Palace in the Netherlands, as an aircraft carrier was seen headed towards the dikes of the low land.
The court spokesman said the trial will proceed as planned in spite of all the threats and fierce comments that have been overloading the court server since the rumors started to spread just before Easter.