ISLAMABAD, TALIBANISTAN: It is now official. The Taliban are only meters away from Islamabad. The US embassy has closed its doors and renegade PAK ex-Army Generals and their virulently anti-American ISI buddies have emerged from the woodwork.
The Army-ISI-Mullah nexus has plans for a big red-carpet parade, complete with strewn rose petals and shiny medals of 'patriotism' waiting to be conferred on the 'new heroes of the nation'.
In preparation for the oncoming surrender both Prez Asif Ali Zardari and PM Yousuf Raza Gilani have begun growing beards.
Wearing black turbans, Prez Zardari surrounded by PM Gilani and the Ministers of: Disinformation; Inferior Affairs; Vice & Virtue & Deliberate Lies appeared once again on his favorite American TV network to deliver Pak's weekly progress report to American viewers, saying: "You see Lah-ree, ve in Pakistan want to show our Taliban brothers our utmost support therefore ve are putting on a great sartorial and tonsorial show for them. Also ve vant to save our silly necks".
The PM cut in: "I am the real ruler of Pakistan. US insulted our sovereignty and only offered us paltry sops in the name of aid so we are going to teach them a lesson. $US 30 billion is nothing. We demand nothing short of $US 300 trillion"
An equally incensed Pak Ambassador to the US angrily accused the US of not showing true friendship and dumping us. He demanded that all AIG, GM and bank bailouts be rescinded immediately by Congress and turned over to Pakistan as part of the new Marshall Plan.
There was no response from US officials as politics has adjourned for Easter.