Written by Jeff Brone
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Friday, 10 April 2009

President Obama reported yesterday that while on his trip abroad a Saudi Prince of high ranking threatened to give the President a "knuckle sandwich" if his lunch money wasn't handed over immediately.

The president had stepped into a washroom at a Saudi government palace to use the facilities when he saw two princes "smoking" and he had a feeling they were up to no good. They began discussing the president's pants and "how it would be a shame if they got ripped" and one prince then told the president he better "hand over his lunch money or he'd have a mouth full of red gum." The president thinks the prince meant to say "bloody chicklets" but wasn't fully familiar with the language. The president said he refrained from laughing at the absurd mistake because he didn't want to risk offending the Muslim world.

The President asked them why they were asking for money, to which one replied "that's for me to know about and you to find and tell me," again mangling a classic tough guy phrase. The president offered to loan the men five dollars in good faith, to which they replied "that will buy us an American woman that we can keep from speaking in public." They then laughed and left the restroom.

"It was weird" explained the president. He then added "I assure my fellow Americans that this was unusual. Most of the Saudis' violence is limited to threatening the world's oil supply."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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