L'Aquila, Italy - (Cosmic Big Oil Mess}: It wasn't Pope Joe Ratzinger's totally missionary position on condoms, Aids and Africa that has got up the Great Architect of the Universe's nose this week, prompting today's massive earthquake eruption in the Italian town of L'Aquila ('The Eagle').
No, 'well, he would say all that, wouldn't he?' - to paraphrase Mandy Rice Davis in the 60's John Profumo KGB sex scandal trial.
Psychotic TheoConnery is in the Pontifical job description after all.
Rather it was Papa Ratzi's lunatic obsession with Chevron Oil's flagship tanker, The Altair Voyager, named after the brightest star in the constellation Aquila, one of the vertices of the Summer Triangle (not to be confused with the mythical Holy Trinity.}
Until January 2001 the tanker was called The Condoleezza Rice after the Bush Administration's top crack dealer and subsequent National Security Adviser and Secretary of State.
But it was hurriedly renamed after Rice was booted off the Chevron Board following CIA confirmation she was an Opus Dei hireling in Ratzinger's pay...
As the shattered residents of L'Aquila stagger from their tremor-stricken homes today Papa Ratzinger's eyeball appears to be permanently stuck to the Vatican Observatory's ten inch telescope, permanently fixated on the Altair/Deneb/Vega astro-trinity.
But in reality he is tracking the ocean crossing voyages of the Chevron bigboat.
In classical Greek mythology Aquila was the eagle which carried the thunderbolts of Zeus, king of the gods and supreme cosmic earthquake master of yore.