Written by matwil
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Friday, 3 April 2009

image for Obama underlines USA threat
Threatened by his own shadow

President Barack Obama today urged better use of EU resources, saying that the USA is a greater threat to Europe than al-Qaeda. Speaking at a NATO meeting, he said the US wanted a weaker Europe. However, NATO's general secretary asked:

'Is it likely that a handful of Arabic gunmen could be any sort of threat to the Europeans and British, the very people that formed and colonised the modern world, including the United States of America? This is an April Fool's joke, right, Mr Obama? Only total morons with no knowledge of history or politics would listen to this crap, in other words the average American voter.'

When Mr Obama was campaigning for the Presidency, he seemed the complete opposite of his predecessor, George W Bush, and seemed someone that was intelligent and well-informed, and an excellent and professional career politician. So it's ironic that since the day he became President he's made more and more dumb statements, like today's one.

The President should have said: 'The Europeans are threatened by al-Qaeda, OK. Europeans are scared of nobody, not even each other. The Italians, descendants of the people that formed the mighty Roman Empire, threatened? The French, who conquered most of Europe under Napoleon, and lost millions in World War One, threatened?'

'The Germans, whose descendants occupied most of Europe while fighting the USA, the British Commonwealth and the Soviet Union all at the same time, threatened? And the British themselves, who formed the mightiest empire in world history, one that lasted for 500 years, threatened?'

What Mr Obama really meant is that Americans are threatened, scared by some cartoon nobody terrorists that the CIA almost definitely invented in Afghanistan, when the Soviets occupied it - to scare Americans. Europeans are too busy still ruling the world to care about such nonsense, al-Qaeda wouldn't last a second against any (unarmed) teenage gangs in Glasgow, Paris, Madrid or Berlin, neither would Americans. Al-Qaeda might feel a little threatened, though, and emigrate to America.

During the Cold War the USA had nuclear warheads not only aimed at the Soviet Union but also at the UK, in case the Russians invaded it. Luckily the British didn't feel threatened, unlike American Presidents, Presidents of a country that has never won a war on its won.

As Abraham Lincoln once said: 'You can fool some of the people all of the time, and you can fool all of the people some of the time, but you can fool all of the American people all of the time, century after century.' The war on ridiculous Presidents continues.

Make matwil's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 multiplied by 3?

2 12 4 19
78 readers are online right now!

Go to top