Written by Zoltan Peppa
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Wednesday, 1 April 2009

image for President Obama in London racism scandal
ZhenZhen a bloody sight calmer then ten minutes ago

President Obama was today embroiled in a brief incident over an alleged racist slur. The incident is said to have happened at a short visit to London Zoo.

President Obama was at the Chimpanzee enclosure listening to Zoo Keeper Max Scatt speaking about Primate Intelligence, and explaining how chimpanzees possess 96% similar DNA as humans. President Obama seemed to be genuinely interested before dropping a massive bollock. 'That's amazing', President Obama said, 'what clever monkeys'.

The words were blurted out within earshot of a Bonobo Chimp named ZhenZhen. ZhenZhen was said to have gone completely ape shit at the racist slur. Some onlookers alleged that ZhenZhen started picking up faeces from the enclosure floor and tossing it President Obama. Even at that point, President Obama was still perplexed at what had happened as a large wet chimp faeces slid down the bemused President's face. Max Scatt approached Mr Obama and discretely reminded him that monkeys have tails, chimpanzees are apes, which do not. After which a very embarrassed President was ushered away by his aids.

A brief statement was released later saying. 'President Obama sincerely apologises for his ill chosen words. In addition, fully understands the word 'monkey' can be deeply offensive to apes. In a way of a good will gesture President Obama wishes to invite all the Chimpanzees at London Zoo to a tea party at his hotel on Friday afternoon'.

Mr Obama made no further comment, but Max Scatt said on the matter, 'the chimpanzees are quite excited at having a tea party with the President of The United States. The females are planning to wear pink tutus, and the males, bowties and bowler hats'. Adding, 'I hope Mr Obama lays on plenty of food, the Chimps adore biscuits and cakes. I am sure the incident will be water under the bridge come Friday teatime'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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