IRAQ -- In a stunning announcement that sent newly appointed Iraqi officials to the bathroom hurling their most recent meal, Iraqi transition spokesperson Aji Aji Ben Munno al-Scirocco said everyone in the country has changed their minds and "would America please give the country back to Saddam and go home."
Shocked, confused and stopping a game of poker played in U.S. military headquarters by current generals in command, one U.S. general said, "Oh great, now we'll just pack up and go home. Sure."
Word from the undisclosed location where ex-Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein is being held, was that Saddam responded kindly to the news.
"He said," said an interpreter, "all right, I will go back to being president but you all have to fix my palaces because they are ruined."
President Bush heard the news early this morning and flung his breakfast tray against the bedroom wall, with his juice glass just missing his wife, Laura as she opened the curtains near the wall where the President's tray collided.
Later, Vice President Cheney released a statement. He said, "Who cares what they want, anyway? We never did and never will. We are staying and we will kill every one of them if that's what it will take to free that country."