Mexico City -- Mexico's most sacred shrine was seen weeping trillions of gallons of tears after a recent visit by Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton. Catholics believe the image of the Virgin Mary appeared miraculously in 1531. There were so many tears it caused major flooding. Most of Mexico City is underwater tonight.
The deluge began shortly after Ms. Clinton arrived at the Virgin's Basilica. Ms. Clinton ignorantly asked who painted the national symbol. Every Mexican child knows the answer is God Himself!
Great rumblings of thunder were heard after her obtuse question and the sky turned black. The visit to the Basilica was cut short "for security reasons."
Tears soon began to flow from the image of the Virgin. The tears were a trickle, then a flood and then a deluge. Onlookers said it looked like two fire hoses shooting water from the icon's eyes. Scientific analysis of the water indicates it is definitely human tears.
Father Jose Gordo el Gato de la Smacko y Wacko is curator of the Basilica and explained what occurred.
"The Virgin saw Ms. Clinton standing there dressed in red and the Virgin was appalled. Red is the color of Communism, it is the color of innocent blood. The icon wanted to wash the image of the evil witch away! Yankee go home!" shouted Father Gordo el Gato de la Smacko y Wacko.
Curiously, the tears stopped the exact moment Ms. Clinton crossed the border into the USA.
"Keep that red witch in Washington with all the other evil gringos!" said the priest. "The Apocalypse has now begun, thanks to you blue-eyed devils!" he shouted.