Washington,DC/ Impaired Political News - Adopting a Siege Mentality, searching for anyway out, Secretary of the Treasury Tim Geithner acknowledged he is looking for a universal currency to replace The Dollar, long the benchmark of a stable world economy until the recent economic meltdown.
With the thought that Tiny Tim is even thinking such a thing, there has been a panic in Congressional Hallways, Murtha's men's room where he does most of his business, in the smoke filled back rooms of mayoral offices in the Democratic Controlled inner cities, and even in American Somoa where House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has certain fishy connections.
The thought that Americans may have to turn in their cash to be exchanged for a new symbol of wealth, has caused a rush to the congressional floors of both the house and the senate to institute resolutions against such a measure.
The halls of congress are said to be also overflowing with hundreds of Mexican Drug Cartel lobbyists, registered and unregistered, to try and block Geithner's latest power move.
According to insiders Geithner is considering a move to one or more currencies currently in existence. Under review is the Bhat from Thailand, the Polish Zloty, the Albanian Lek, the Kuwaiti Dinar and the Venezuelan Bolivar. One staff member says the most popular currency could be The Colon from Costa Rica, since the source of all money has "turned to shit", he said, speaking off the record as he was not cleared to talk about The President's Financial Bowel Movements.
The SEC is investigating reports that there has been unusual movements in the foreign currency market of Costa Rica in the past week. Parting the legal shields of various bogus corporations located around the world, it seems several financial bets on The Colon, have come from the office of Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel, who also has ties to the Chicago Corporation that stands first in line to monitor the World's Carbon Exchange fund, said to be worth Billions to Emanuel and his political cronies in Chicago.
House Ways and Means Chairman Charles Wrangle (sic) is said to be concerned that the value of he Dominican Republic Peso he deals in, will now be worth less than when he took it for undeclared income on his beach front island paradise home.
Hillary and Bill Clinton said they're not concerned, as the the majority of their fortune is in Kuwaiti Dinars, and "until they run out of oil over there, we'll be able to protect our incomes!"