Arctic Circle - (Frozen Ass Mess): NATO bigwigs are pissing themselves at the success of their latest covert oil and gas disinformation campaign against the Russians.
This has seen daftass Russian President Dim-Eatery Medvedev pledge to install a massive KGB-style military base slap bang in the middle of the Arctic's most dangerous caldera faultline.
"We've been targeting that Kremlin moron Artur Chilling-Arov," General V Smart of NATO's parasitology Divisiopn chuckled today.
"He calls himself the Russian presidential envoy for international co-operation in the Arctic and Antarctic," Smart continued.
"But he's a tosser. And the entire campaign to convince him of an oil and gas Aladdin's Cave under the Arctic Circle only cost us $25,000!"
The Arctic caldera is predicted to blow within days of the Russial military build-up near the Lomonosov Ridge faultline.
Vlad 'The Impaler' Putin is covered in bedsores.