Written by matwil
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Friday, 27 March 2009

image for German Model Railway's Deutscho-View
The single track in the Polish sector

German twin brothers have built the world's longest model railway in Hamburg, one that has six miles of track and takes in all aspects of German life. By the time the layout is complete in 2014, it will also take in France, Belgium, Greece, Poland, Denmark, the Baltic states and Norway.

The brothers began work on the Miniatur Wunderbar Reichway in 1938, and so large is the layout that 160,000 staff are employed around the Reichway.

'Our master plan was to build a Reichway that lasts for a thousand years', one brother said, 'one where people can believe they're travelling throughout the mighty German Empire, and see miniature figures of resistance and partisan fighters being crushed by the iron boot of fascism.

'There are 200 trains specially equipped with machine gun turrets, to massacre civilians as they pass through their occupied countries, and in the Belgian sector we have made a special V1 launcher coach to fire the rockets at the Britischers, the schweinhunds! That way their bombers will never stop the rockets!'

Some have questioned the taste of the Miniatur Wunderbar Reichway, and have suggested that this hints that Germans are obsessive, fanatical maniacs, that always want to be better than everyone else at things, and others have agreed.

One visitor to the model site said: 'We shall defend our railway stations, whatever the cost may be, we shall drive trains on the beaches, we shall drive them through the fields and in the hills, we shall never surrender our tickets.'

'I have nothing to offer except blood, sweat and tears, if I get caught trying to skip the fare. And people will say, this was our finest power cut', and promptly fused the entire model railway system by throwing a lit cigar onto its mains power cable.

The brothers were taken into custody by police, for 'crimes against electricity'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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