Written by QuakAtak
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Topics: Guantanamo, torture

Thursday, 26 March 2009

image for Police to probe UK torture claims

Police will investigate claims that an MI5 agent was complicit in torture carried out at Guantanamo bay..

One inmate, known as Mohamed to protect his identity, was held at Guantanamo Bay after he was caught on a London bus without a travel card last July. The months spent in imprisonment have been described as 'painful, embarrassing, cruel and degrading' by the inmate.

Polices officers have written reports acting as evidence in the case to say that Mohamed, was in fact in the wrong and deserved his punishment.

PC Clyde says 'It's simple. If you don't have a ticket, expect to be given one to the bay; I recommend an Oyster card.'

Although the information is useful, the card does offer you a range of discounts across London's finest attractions, it is not the most useful information for Mohamed, who has subsequently been branded a terror suspect Mohamed. Mohamed has only just spoken for the first time about his stay at the prison known for its notorious interrogation methods, and so far this what I can report:

Reporter A: What was the most horrific treatment you went through?

Mohamed: Where do I start, at one point my guard made me watch Big Brother 7, The Best Of. It was terrible, I didn't sleep for days.

Reporter A: I can't blame you. What was the food fed to you like, edible?

Mohamed: Absolutely not. I am a Muslim, I have dietary requirements that they knew about. They insisted in giving me the new Domino's Meat Feast pizza, 14". That's when I knew that these guys were for real.

Reporter A: How will adapt to civilian life once the trial is over?

Mohamed: I am unsure; I will probably get on the bus with my day saver to start with. And after all the beatings that the guards gave me, on the in-house Nintendo Wii, I will probably buy one to practice with, just in case I forget my pass one day.

Mohamed was released from prison last week after an 11 year old boy was caught without his bus pass and was told to merely pay the fair in cash. This sparked fury around the world and activists demanded his release. He has since asked his case to be looked for false imprisonment and torture. Mohamed, was forced to listen to Lily Allen, eat Domino's, wear Croc's on his feet, three quarter length trousers, a Miss California sash and fez at all times.

It's reports like this that make President Obama introduce policy's such as him closing, the very much unjust, prison.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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