Girdwood, Alaska - Al Gore, on a expedition to Alaska to study the effect of global warming on wildlife, was mauled by a temperamental bi-sexual bear. The incident happened while Mr. Gore was touring a wildlife sanctuary outside this small northern Alaskan town and he had stopped outside a fenced-in area housing several displaced bears.
Mr. Gore seemed extremely interested in the great white beasts and inquired whether it would be possible to see one up close. After much cajoling a keeper reluctantly complied, choosing the most docile bear he could, a male named Alex.
The keeper introduced the bear as one of the most gentle beasts he had ever worked with, stating that he seemed to like males and females equally, even amongst his own kind. Posing beside the bear, whom observers say was acting overly friendly, Mr. Gore made the near fatal move of putting his arm around the bear's neck.
The bear, apparently confused by the overt move, reciprocating by standing over the former vice president and performing in a sexual manner best left un-described.
Alex was quickly tranquilized and placed back in his cage while Mr. Gore was rushed to hospital for observation.
"There's one other thing I should have taken into consideration when choosing a bear for Mr. Gore to be photographed with." said the keeper, "Besides being sexually confused, Alex has always been overly temperamental.After all, he is a bi polar bear."