The trial of the only known surviving suspect from last year's Mumbai terrorist attack took place today.
Mr. P. Akistan has been accused of killing 170 innocent people in India's financial capital, in what Indian police called 'a pathetic and cowardly act of mass-murder by a complete coward, one that has even cheated at cricket.'
But Mr. Akistan denied the crime, saying: 'It's still the Middle Ages! The only civilisation we have was given to us by the British and the Hindus, but - er - well, it's still the Middle Ages! I wish to speak to my 8 year-old arranged-marriage wife!'
A few people around the world have suspected that P. Akistan has been responsible for terrorist massacres, abusing women, disgracing Islam, and general iffiness, but that isn't true. It's millions of people.
Dog vindaloo is on the menu for lunch today. Benazir Bhutto once won the Miss World competition. India once beat P. Akistan at cricket. No it didn't.