American President Barack 'I Hate Disabled People' Obama, was today hailed by Muslim fundamentalist group Hamas.
'At last', Hamas chief Hijaq Kwrd Qilla said, 'an American President that admits that the road to peace is not by negotiation and diplomacy, but is by recognising organisations like Hamas, and talking to maniacs that live in Iran. No wonder Obama had to use a video message, like all Americans he couldn't actually be brave enough to visit a nation that has existed for thousands of years, and would wipe the floor with the pathetic United States of America.'
But the former Senator, former Hawaiian, former African, and former nice guy towards disabled people, had this to say about Hamas: 'America is not a joke that runs to the Middle East to be told what to do. President Bush did that with Israel, I'm doing it with Syria, but America is not a joke. Stop laughing. But I approve of Hamas acting like Wild West cowboys, shooting anyone they don't like. Hell, wish I was tough like that.'
American emigration increased to an all time high this year, as citizens there realised what a turkey the USA has turned into. Luckily Americans have a piece of cloth to make them proud - they have nothing else.