Angola - (Holy Ass! Mess): Despite haranguing the faithful masses about the evils of spreading deadly aides (sic) through condom wear the Pope was caught with one of the filthy rubber johnnies on his Papal staff this week.
A Vatican internal probe uncovered the Pontifical three fingers broad pallium sheathing the prophylactic in a dawn raid on the Paypal quarters this morning.
In his defence Jo Ratzinger told flunkeys that he was just testing the modesty of the vestment which is woven by traditional methods from virgin alpaca fleeced by Trappist monks.
The garment has a loop in the middle through which a condom can be hurriedly inserted.
It is worn 'resting on the shoulders' over the chasuble with two dependent lappets.
Some reckon that seen from the front or from behind back the vestment resembles the letter Y - "just like the Holy Farter's Y-Fronts" according to an ecclesiastical sartorial guide.
A packet of three costs five euros these days.