Washington,DC/ Washington Post/Lifestyle Section - With the heat turned up in the capitol over repeated gaffes, missteps and autocratic pronouncements, fumbling Democratic legislators can't wait to get out of town and blow off a little steam!
The two week SPRING BREAK for Congress is just one more paid holiday for the elected officials who don't have time to read edicts they pass, can't talk without a teleprompter in their face, and also serves as another rite of passage...they all filed an indefinite extension on their income tax returns knowing that it will be lost in an every growing pile of "things to do" on House Ways and Means Chairman Charles Wrangle (sic) desk, the nation's slickest tax cheat in charge of tax code enforcement.
In order to comply with legislators requests, the beleaguered US Air Force, directed by the Department of Defense, has had to call on the Mexican Air Force to supply additional planes to meet travel plans of the exalted.
One disgruntled legislator, listed as a Blue Democrat, a group who have complained about President Obama's high handed spending edicts, said that he would have to fly home on "Rent a Wreck". an aging twin engine DC-3 most recently being used by the Mexican Army to help ferry bales of Marijuana for the Drug Cartels into Arizona.
Arizona is the home state of current Home Land Security Czar Janet Napolitano, where there is a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell " Policy regarding illegal immigrants and unmarked planes landing from South of the Border on regularly scheduled flights, with no penalties assessed for overweight bales.
The White House Travel Agency announced some of the startling itinerary for our elected and appointed leaders.
Agricultural Secretary Tom Visack, former Governor of Iowa, was off to a Socialist Agrarian Seminar in Zimbabwe to study confiscation of farm lands being hosted by Dictator Robert Mugabe who has run his country into the ground.
New CIA head Leon Panetta is off to Moscow for an intensive KGB study session on "How to be a Spy", hosted by former KGB hit man, and current Prime Minister, Vladimir Putin. Panetta, who was a congressman, former aid to Bill Clinton, and an Eagle Scout, says he is looking forward to the seminar, and "hopes he can learn something."
Attorney Eric Holder is off to Syria to study their judicial system, where marital law has been in effect since forever, and there are no constitutional protections offered to citizens. Holder is taking most of his staff in order to insure accurate note taking on this innovative form of government.
"Let's make a deal" Congressman John Murtha is off to Nigeria for a seminar on how to maximize profits and cut overhead, while selling out your constituents for personal gain.
House Speaker Pelosi is off to American Samoa with her entire family, staff, and "a few friends", and is looking forward to relaxing and some exciting Tuna Fishing aboard her leased yacht, The aircraft carrier USS George W. Bush, temporarily renamed "Queen Nancy I" for the two week jaunt.
Many of the beleaguered and mentally challenged lawmakers, are just going to "hide out", hoping the heat generated from their ineptness will just "go away."
White House Spokesman Robert Gibbs proudly announced, after being confronted, that he was responsible for creating the Jade Goody furor in the UK which has captured most of the attention by World Viewers, and taken some of the journalistic heat off the current administration.
He seemed upset when he was informed that at a recent Spoof Seminar, writers had agreed the situation had gone "over the top", and that most real journalists were returning to factual political reporting.
No one seemed to know where Joe Biden was , or even where he was going, or what he was going to say, most of the time.
O'Bama was off to Camp Hussein in Hawaii where he was hosting a basketball camp, while sending Michelle off to Aruba for a much needed rest saying "I hope she can just lose herself, take some disco lessons and relax on the beach."
Al Gore was still in Jamaica, freezing his ass off and recovering from Pneumonia.