It was announced this morning that US President, Barack Obama, is to release a Hip Hop version of "Love Will Build A Bridge" with over 50 of the World's pop legends, in the hope of "building some bridges with love" in Iran.
In a press conference at the White House he explained that music was a universal language, the food of love and can sooth the savage beast, but lately it had been "tearing us apart" He told reporters that he was "hopeful" that the song could "build some bridges."
The single, which was the brain child of high-waisted grump, Simon Cowell, will feature some of the world's greatest singing stars, including U2, Mariah Carey, Madonna, Justin Timberlake and Kelly Osborne. Cowell declared that it will be produced on a completely non-profit basis, apart from the 40% of worldwide sales which would go towards his "expenses".
Obama was joined at the photo call by skeletal veteran popster Michael Jackson, who had a towel over his head, appeared to have gained weight and be about a foot shorter than usual. The spooky megastar reportedly couldn't speak because he was saving his voice for his sellout 50 date UK comeback tour, but Obama explained "Michael is very excited about healing the world and making it a better place for you and for me and the entire human race."
Obama would not comment on the possibility that the single might fail to reconcile the East and West, but an unidentified White House source confirmed that he had been in negotiation with Oprah Winfrey for a "couples counselling" show, just in case the song "fell on deaf ears."
"It is going to be a truly great milestone on the road to world peace" Obama declared. For too long the US and Iran have been disrespecting and hurting each other. It is a well established fact that love can build a bridge to your heart and mine. Don't you think its time? Don't you think it's time?"