Pope Benedict XVI has contracted AIDS during his tour of Africa, according to reports coming from the Vatican.
The Pope, it is said, accidentally caught the disease after shaking hands with Angolan President Jose Eduardo dos Santos was he welcomed him at the airport as crowds of singing and dancing spectators waited to cheer the pontiff's motorcade.
The Pope was immediately rushed to hospital.
"We tried to tell him" said one wiser man "but he wouldn't listen"
The Pope who has rejected condoms as a way of fighting AIDS is said to be 'pretty pissed off'
And so he should be....and so he should be.