Washington,DC/ Senatorial News - Genocide amongst Democrats continues apace, as panic attacks threaten to freeze progress in the New Administration, and Liberals continue to flail out with long sharp knives to keep from having their short comings discovered.
Traces of Blood have been found on the floor of both the Senate and House of Representatives, while blood trails have led directly to the Speaker of the House's office, and as high up as the secret lair of Mossad Agent, Rahm Emanuel, late night comedian Barry O'Bama's chief of staff and punster.
Fat Cat DEMS, just a few short weeks ago seemed impervious to attack, secure in their November Victory which they felt gave them carte blanche to institute a litany of fascist like government moves to give them total control over the American Taxpayer and the Capitalist system of Risk and Reward.
A continuing list of Teleprompter Gaffs , Royal Edicts, inept appointments, tax lapses,Bonus Bailouts and bald face lies sluffed off as just "campaign rhetoric", has now aroused the sleeping giant, known as the American Taxpayer.
The Washington Mafia has reacted accordingly, and a Hit List has been compiled, and Contracts Issued in order to take the heat of the Head Don.
As one Washington Mafia Maven has described it, "It's a free for all. No one is safe, and everyone has hunkered down. There's been a run on garlic, tomato paste, basil, and #8 Spaghetti, not to mention you can't find a bottle of Dago Red anywhere in the Capitol, and every "Going Out of Business" mattress store has been sold out for a week....the gang has gone to their mattresses big time!"
In more recent action, Secretary of the Treasury Tim "The Toga" Geithner, has been placed in intensive care on life support after multiple knife attacks from within his own party. Still hailed as the "most intelligent man on the Planet" by O'Bama, certainly his recent soliloquy on Late Night with Leno, foretold his ultimate fate. Reacting to Leno's soft ball question on the Secretary and his recent lapses requiring common sense, O'Bama brushed off criticism by saying to the American Audience, " I come to praise Tim, not to bury him...!'
Behind the scenes funeral arrangements for the tax challenged Secretary are underway as we write, and reportedly the Washington Post and NY Times have a lengthy 3 page obituary already prepared to go to press.
Meanwhile, Senate Banking Head, Chris "Sticky Fingers" Dodd has gone on the offensive and ordered hits on 27 AIG executives, unnamed "administration officials", the teller at his own bank, and his own mortgage broker who secured him a sweetheart loan on his 3 homes.
"He's trying to cover his tracks," commented our informant, a former executive with Country Wide Financial, and just like Rep. Charlie "no habla Espanol" Wrangle (sic), the congressman representing Spanish Harlem, doesn't keep very good records on his income producing scams!"
Meanwhile, House Banking Chairman, Barney Frank, who along with Dodd, has his grubby fingerprints all over the failed Mortgage and Banking disaster, continues to point his fingers at everyone but himself, and is said to be holed up (pun) somewhere in Brookline Ma., with most wanted felon, Whitey Bulger, who has offered him some protection, for a rather hefty fee.
House Speaker Nancy "The Flying Nun" has taken to the air again, and is said to be circling at 35,000 feet in her Air Force 3 Command Center, only putting down briefly for refueling, collecting her dividends, and stocking up on gourmet Italian foodstuffs.
Of more import, is the question where is "You don't Mess with Joe" Biden, O'Bama's designated hitter who was going to insure proper accountability for the trillions of American Taxpayer dollars given out with no oversight.
O'Bama chief of character assassinations, Rahm "no prisoners" Emanuel professes ignorance. "I have no idea where the fucking puke is," he said when questioned by Chris Matthews, "as soon as he saw the shit was going to hit the fan, he headed for his bunker to ride out the shit storm, and be available in case we might need him later...I mean, shit, man, can you imagine if O'Bama is forced to resign and he's not available, it'll be Nancy "Lil Benito" Pelosi running things!"
Back in the White House O'Bama is said to be working with his Telepromter for an upcoming stint on Saturday Night Live written by Senator in Waiting Al Franken, and counting the $500,000 he just received for a children's book he wrote in his spare time, "Obambito, the Little Hood that Could".
The Red Cross has issued an urgent plea for plasma in the nation's capitol, and the HIV infected populace has lined up to Pump for Pay in the $1,000 a pint taxpayer funded bloodletting.
Al Gore is said to be "freezing his ass off" while vacationing in Jamaica.