Written by matwil
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Topics: Food, France, Strike, French

Thursday, 19 March 2009

image for Nationwide strike hits France
Prime Minister Cantona's dinner

Millions of workers across France were on strike again today, to protest against what one union leader called 'the government taking professional economic advice, and using tried and tested methods to deal with the current situation in France. This must not be allowed. A few fishermen and my aunt Claudette's cat know more about economics than the government, by great Anatole!'

The strike is expected to cause widespread long lunches over wine, and much waving of arms in the air and shrugging of shoulders, with possible missiles being pointlessly thrown at the CRS later in the evening, the CRS being the Compagnie de Raciste Skineads de la Republic, the country's riot police.

'It is our duty as French men and women to strike', said tobacconist and part-time philosopher Monsieur Napoleon Roquefort, in Toulouse, 'and it is the duty of the French government to pay no attention to any national strikes at all. C'est la vie ... '.

And his wife Mrs Edith Piaf Roquefort wailed: 'Non, nous ne regrettons rien! C'est fou le strike! C'est comme les Anglais, tout le temps striking et drinking le the avec le lait, et mangent le sandwiches avec le Marmite. C'est encroyable!'

President Nicolas Sargozy had this to say about the nationwide strike. 'Strike? So? What's for dinner?', and Prime Minister Erique Cantona added: 'Myself, all this protesting is making me, how you say, 'ungry. I am off to Maxim's for a nice plate of roast seagull with garlic potatoes, and a salad of crispy nettles garnished with a few octopus eyes. Au revoir.'

The strike is expected to achieve nothing at all, except to give the English-speaking world a good opportunity to poke fun at all the usual French stereotypes. Asterix the Gaul is 2,000 this Mercredi.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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