Penis Sheaths are flying off the shelves after President Barrack Obama made a fashion statement of his own by showing up at one of his first cabinet meetings wearing nothing but. His stunned staffers quickly got their own sheaths and soon the look was spreading. Now retailers are having a tough time keeping the once slow moving item in stock.
"It stands to reason," said Stanley Laurel, a buyer of men's accessories for Nordstrom Department stores, " presidents and their families have a tradition of starting new fashion trends. There's Lincoln's morning suit, Jackie O's pillbox hats and now Obama's penis sheath."
"We really are having a hard time keeping up with demand. Where we used to have just one or two in stock, now we're buying them by the bushel. They used to be displayed along side men's ties but now every one of our male mannequins is sporting one."
Mr. laurel went on to explain the etiquette of wearing a penis sheath. "There are long ones and curved ones. Those are our most popular. The short ones and straight ones, while easier to wear, are a symbol of subordination, worn mostly by boys and junior executives. It wouldn't do to show up the boss by having a penis sheath larger or more elaborate than his. Especially so, if your boss happens to be the president of the United States."
Not all are enamored of the new look. President Obama has presented penis sheaths to several foreign dignitaries. When Britain's prime minister, Gordon Brown, made his first official visit to the United States, he presented Obama with an ornamental pen holder made from the timbers of the Victorian anti-slave ship HMS Gannet. Obama, in return, gave Mr. Brown a penis sheath that Obama's great-great-grandfather-a village chieftain in Kenya-is said to have worn.
Mr. Brown remarked that the sheath would make a beautiful addition to the Africa collection at the British Museum but when the president suggested that the two men pose for photographs wearing the sheaths, the prime minister demurred. He was soon jetting back to London.