Written by Skoob1999
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Sunday, 15 March 2009

image for Race Swimmers Thrash Like The Clappers As Sharks Close In
Ere Sid, Can You Smell Duck Fat?

Sydney Australia - Competitors in a long distance swimming race were prompted to several 'Personal Bests', not by the exhortations of their trainers, but by several sharks closing in on them.

There have been a number of reported shark attacks this year off the coastline of Australia already, so fortunately a RAAF helicopter was able to swoop in low so as to provide a deterrent barrier between the hungry, sharp toothed, man-eating fish things and the duck fat coated swimmers.

The helicopter intervention caused sufficient disturbance in the water to successfully repel the sharks for long enough so that rescue dinghies could manouevre into position.

The sharks however didn't deter one competitor, Mr Blue Lagoon, who told us over a tinny or twelve:

"Sharks, schmarks! If one of those toothy blodgers decides he's gonna take a nibble at your torso, you just punch him good and proper on the snout. They'll soon bugger off. They got a low pain threshold, see?"

"Don't you believe it," a shark told us. "When we got a whiff of that duck fat we were in there. It's only the fact that my Uncle Roy told me that those helicopters carried missiles that we backed off. Let's face it, nobody wants to get blown up. But we'll have 'em one day. Trust me."

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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