Written by Skoob1999
Print this

Sunday, 15 March 2009

image for Race Swimmers Thrash Like The Clappers As Sharks Close In
Ere Sid, Can You Smell Duck Fat?

Sydney Australia - Competitors in a long distance swimming race were prompted to several 'Personal Bests', not by the exhortations of their trainers, but by several sharks closing in on them.

There have been a number of reported shark attacks this year off the coastline of Australia already, so fortunately a RAAF helicopter was able to swoop in low so as to provide a deterrent barrier between the hungry, sharp toothed, man-eating fish things and the duck fat coated swimmers.

The helicopter intervention caused sufficient disturbance in the water to successfully repel the sharks for long enough so that rescue dinghies could manouevre into position.

The sharks however didn't deter one competitor, Mr Blue Lagoon, who told us over a tinny or twelve:

"Sharks, schmarks! If one of those toothy blodgers decides he's gonna take a nibble at your torso, you just punch him good and proper on the snout. They'll soon bugger off. They got a low pain threshold, see?"

"Don't you believe it," a shark told us. "When we got a whiff of that duck fat we were in there. It's only the fact that my Uncle Roy told me that those helicopters carried missiles that we backed off. Let's face it, nobody wants to get blown up. But we'll have 'em one day. Trust me."

More as we get it.

Make Skoob1999's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 multiplied by 3?

7 3 22 16
52 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience on our website, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more