Written by Earl Grey
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Tuesday, 10 March 2009

image for Georgia Told: Revise Eurovision Entry Or 'Face Consequences'
"Vladimir is our friend" OK can you take the gun away from my mother's head now?

Georgia has been told to revise its Eurovision Song Contest Entry following protests from inside the Kremlin. The competition is due to take place in Moscow and worried officials are desperate not to upset the democratically elected and hugely popular ruling party.

Georgia's entry might be considered to be a little bit political. 'Up Yours Put In' is in fact a traditional Georgian greeting, which is still tremendously popular in Kiev. Just wander down the High Street saying it and you will receive warm thanks, free beer and offers of a sexual nature. Do the same in Tsverskaya Street (writer showing off) in Moscow and you will receive several beats to the head, battered limbs and offers of a sexual nature.

Georgia has been asked to rewrite the song's lyrics. The new title will be 'Our Friend Vladimir' and it will go as follows:

Our friend Vladimir makes us very safe
He always has a cheery smile
And children love him too
Our friend Vladimir makes us very safe
He is not the President
And it is totally democratic how he rules and if you don't believe it he will have you shot like some journalists.

It is believed that such a song may win on the night. Particularly as all the votes will be counted by political dissidents, who of course do not exist in Modern Russia.

Latest odds:
Russia (home win) 3/1
Georgia (on my mind) 5/1 with rewrite, 1000000/1 and all shot without
Germany 10/1
United Kingdom now don't be silly

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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