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Topics: Trains, Railway

Saturday, 7 March 2009

image for World's worst railway station
The Alice Springies railway station.

It has recently been discovered in the city of Alice Springs, a railway station is in the area. But it looks nothing like a station.

It is named "The world's worst railway station in history".

Inspectors who inspected the place very thorougly searched for the bad parts of the station. The infrastructure was completely removed by "builders in 19...something". All that remains is just crumbs from the old building.

We interviewed the builders and the station manager who is behind this. The Alice Springies station manager, Dean Altom, was interviewed about why the building was removed. Dean said "It was removed ages and ages ago, beyond which anyone can remember. Because it ummm...the building was falling apart and the ticketing machines were breaking and constantly being pelted. Passengers were complaining about the building "over-time". The seats were stolen after everytime we replace them. The signs were breaking in half and the whole building, without a doubt, was very germy and contagious but it was graffitied, not one bit remained it's original colour, from it's original colour, white to black and looked very...unstylish. So we hired builders to completely remove the building and they did without a trace left. Only those crumbs that remain.

The inspectors asked him why the crumbs were white and brown. "It was because the colour of the bulldozers were white and brown and the paint hadn't dried up yet."

The tracks cannot be seen and are not visible anymore because "the sand outdigged it". The tracks are at least 6 feet underneath the sand atop it and it's particulary hard to get into the train.

The parking of the station is extremely unsealed and at least 10 customers have been reported to have lost their cars or their cars being eaten by scorpions. One customer, Jack Diggerns, was reported to have lost his car while taking a train trip to Darwin at one stage.

"I won't take up too much time, but it was a trip to Darwin and the trip back, car wasn't seen. Happy now?!"

Another customer was reported to have his car being, scientifically proven, eaten by scorpions.

"I took a trip to Darwin and when I came back, my car had scorpions all over it. It was unbelievable. I shoo-d them off and underneath was no trace left of it. Scientists found a few nooks and crannies and took a test just to find out it was eaten by scorpions and the faeces belonged to a scorpion's type of faeces. I could not believe it!"

The station is completely free and doesn't even include a ticketing machine or even validators. The platform is at rail level which is a negative bonus.

The inspection was completed and a normal railway station's score would be 3.4% average and an extremely clean station with no rubbish would get a score like 56.8& and if it's shining, it gets a 83.9%. A station very unclean and untidy would get -5.2% but this recorded an average of -4528.99%!

Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd is looking into seeing "this devastating trash and complete crap" it's services being demolished and it no longer being a railway station forever and forever history. Kevin Rudd said "This devastating trash and complete crap does not belong in Australia. It belongs to India. I am looking into seeing the future of this station being service-demolished and being shut down for good and not being included in the town's history even though it was opened 50 years before it's 200th year. Get going and if I was a local resident, I'd move right out of there and if I was a local user of that station, I'd better get used to going to the nearest station despite it's distance from any other major town and capital of State and Australia".

Make Australian News Reporter's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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