Following last weeks state visit to Scotland President Obama has renewed America's special relationship with Scotland by vowing to pay more for Scottish oil and gas than England and Wales do!
In addition Obama has reinforced his support for the SNP, which is no secret between the two "nations" that goes back to Obama's maternal ancestor, Edward FitzRandolph, who emigrated to America in the 17th Century and can be also be traced to William the Lion, who ruled Scotland from 1165 to 1214.
First Minister for Scotland Alex "The Phish" Salmond has been quoted as saying "this is the first time since we succumbed to English rule, where we have a window in history, to become totally independent from the shackles of our Sassenach bastards and make the Scottish people great again!"
Salmond added "Barack has got some enormous issues, not just for America but for Scotland too and I think for the first time in the lifetimes of most of us Scots, there is a real sense of expectation that the leadership of the ethnic minority in the world is in the hands of someone who wants to set a direct action of change and liberate us from those Cockney bastards south of Berwick!"
Obama is reported as also saying "So it seems there's another watered down Scot in the White House and that must be a good thing, black though I am and love wearing Michelle's tartan mini skirts for bed!"
On an even more serious note the new Trans Atlantic oil and gas pipe line will flow to the US by 2010 and will coincide with a cut in supply to the rest of the UK where fuel bills will rise and thousands of white Sassenachs will die of cold and hypothermia!
However "Black Sassenachs" will be welcome "North of the Border" to be grilled about their allegiance to the "New Order of World Rule!"