Colchester,Essex/ Straight from the Pitch Cricket News - Colonel Sir William "Batty" Montblanc, announced today that a select group from 2 Para would henceforth be representing the UK in any away games, due to recent terrorist activities threatening the disruption of International Cricket Matches and World Order.
2 Para, the elite of the elite of Britons Parachute regiments is known world wide for their distinguished battlefield exploits. Honours include action at Anhem, Normandy, the Rhine Crossing and Basra, to name just a few.
The regiment prides itself on a tough selection process, extra ordinary training, and it's ability to function independently with little support in dangerous situations. These are all attributes that will stand them in good stead for the rigors of Test Cricket, and the now dangerous One Day Internationals.
Cricket, once thought of as a slow paced gentleman's game introduced in the 1500's, refined over the years, has now progressed to being a test of wills of great political import fraught with danger, as witnessed in Pakistan where terrorists recently attacked a visiting team from Sri Lanka with murderous results.
2 Para's all star team will consist of 11 battle hardened veterans.
The lineup contains 2 heavy machine gun Corporals, 5 automatic weapon Privates, a 40mm grenade launcher Sergeant, a 5.7mm Mini-Gun Master Sergeant, and a Leftenant responsible for calling up Harrier Jump Jets should the wicket get sticky.
Colonel Montblanc said he was confident his team could sweep the pitch in short order should any further international incidents arise, and his team was willing to meet any challengers on a field of their choice, at any time.
"We don't have any problems popping right over, and giving the buggers a good game, and one they won't forget soon," said the Colonel. "We just can't wait to get to bat," he said with a smile.
2 Para's Motto, displayed proudly on their uniforms clearly states their mantra: EAT CURRY AND DIE!