Kiwi Tours, charged with travel arrangements for the New Zealand Cricket team, has said that it will go ahead with the Pakistani tour, and is quite confident that it's new bus will keep the players safe.
The bus, a red RF486 from route 159 to Streatham Station, has been fitted with armour plated panels and windows, and carries six Browning M1917s and twelve Panzerfaust 3 rocket launchers. A special team of rear gunners from the bread vans used in The Falls Road has agreed to help. Their spokesman said "Bales to the terrorists. If they thought they could googly us by bowling a maiden over, they had better come to the crease and expect a few bouncers. They must be aware that our nightwatchmen clean bowled eleventeen Chinamen, for their aromatic ducks, because they appealed that they had been dismissed into a gully after slipping near Silly Madoff, the well know Jewish fielder"
Daniel Vettori said "We have been playing cricket in Pakistan since we first beat the Indus in 2123 BC, and a few nutters are not going to put us off. We think this was a religious attack, and was not cricket motivated. A bus load of Buddhists carrying tea, coffee coconuts and condoms must make a hot target. If it hadn't been religious, they would have used Sikh Heating missiles. They were after the Sri Lankan's stash of presents. We declare that daisy cutters will stump every effort to slog sixes, as we slip their maidens a length while they are not looking."
The head of the Pakistani team, Fair Splease, a little known bus conductor in his spare time, said they were very pleased to hear the news, because they hadn't seen an RF486 in Pakistan before.