Written by Aspartame Boy

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Topics: Flying, Airlines, Beer

Tuesday, 3 March 2009

image for Sou'wester Airlines to offer all the beer you can drink
I'm sorry sir, this is our last diaper, and it has been sold, twice now, and used five times.

PHOENIX, Arizona - Sou'wester Airline spokesperson, Michele Brewster, reported today that the airline will offer a special LA beer to all passengers at no charge - and no limit.

Drinks will be offered from the time the plane door closes to the time it opens at the destination. The beer is only .01 percent alcohol and is legal for minors, as well as adults.

Sou'wester was concerned that ridership and market share had both been falling off, and wanted to counter the trend of "unfriendly skies" that seem to be gripping the industry.

In order to pay for the beer, stewardesses will auction off bathroom tokens during the flight, that, when deposited in a special slot in the bathroom doors, will open them. The doors are also programmed to spring open exactly one minute after being closed, to make sure such facilities are available to all.

Federal marshals will deal with any passengers who have obviously wet themselves upon arrival at their destination, imposing heavy fines, summarily, for the offense.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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