A damning, cross party, political report dismisses clown school as a waste of taxpayer's money. Experts have collectively accused Clown school of 'dumbing down' and wasting time on literacy, numeracy, science, languages, and humanities when students should be learning to throw a custard pie, electrocuting an unsuspecting visitor with a 'buzzer' hand shake or throwing buckets of confetti.
Numbers admitted to clown school have been slashed recently due to a world surplus of clown skills and general lunacy. An employment expert claims with the recent collapse in the financial market, there is an abundance of idiots searching for a job. "Dressing for success these days involves a baggy, lurid, coloured costume, big floppy red shoes and a spinning bow tie", claims a city analyst. "It's out with the Armani and on with the moroney" Claims Cock wan, a leading "stylist", fashion wanker, and head of corporate publicity at Bumphuck consultants.
We need to diversify and adapt to meet the needs of the modern workplace", claims clown training experts. "No more exploding or collapsing cars. We need to prepare our graduates for a wider range of target professions such as banking, public service chiefs, Whitehall mandarins and politics.