"Iran has enough camel dung to give you the hump" said the world's most senior expert in bull dung, who has also studied the difference between bull's and camels.
At the third Annual Symposium of Shi'ites (ASS), the spokesman said "Iran having a nuclear weapon is a dangerous thing, and we seriously believe that they have developed a method of refining and enriching camel dung to turn it into a weapon of mass distraction."
In response, Saudi Arabia's senior camel driver did confirm that the smell from the camels was often massively distracting. When asked if castrating camels with two stones was painful, he replied "Only of you get your fingers caught between the stones".
A report by the IEAA (Institute of Excrement and Anal Analogies) said "Camel dung is one of the most dangerous weapons of mass distraction".
"There are serious concerns that Iran has more than enough dromedary dung to outsmell America's huge volumes of bovine dung, and it is important that America retains control of the world's dung".
When asked how this dangerous situation had been allowed to arise, the main author of the report, Drom Adery said "We underestimated the Iranians. While we have been collection dung from the male sex only , the bull, they have been collecting dung from both sexes, and as we all know, the female sex is just as full of dung as the male sex".
The US defence secretary said "If anyone in Iran was to strike a match within a five mile radius of the stock pile, the resultant flame could have sufficient power to change the orbit of the planet. In fact it doesn't have to be a match - a Zippo would cause the same result".