Tony Blair, the ex-prime minister of the UK, has been a UN peace envoy to the Middle East for three years now, but today visited the area for the first time.
He said, "The reason I waited so long before visiting the area is because I had no idea where it was. It's called the Middle East, so it's in the Middle of East, right? I spent months looking at maps trying to find a region called East. Then someone told me it meant Israel and Palestine, and I thought 'Oh god, not them! I wouldn't have become a peace envoy for that lot.'"
"Now that I have visited the region and seen how devastated it is, all I can recommend is that we just nuke the whole area. That would be the only way to bring peace."