Written by Skoob1999
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Sunday, 1 March 2009

image for Bigfoot, Yeti, And Loch Ness Monster Really Exist - Official
Loch Ness Monster McGurk Pictured This Morning. Somewhere.

Oxbridgeford University Department Of Urban Mythology - Following years and years of painstaking research, scientists at Oxbridgeford University have finally confirmed that Bigfoot, the Yeti, and The Loch Ness Monster actually exist.

They stated this unequivocally.

"There's no doubt about it," Professor Humpty von Dumpty of Cobble Colege told us. "These things really exist, in much the same way that rocking horses shit, and that fog can be successfully plaited."

Bigfoot exists in Camberley, Surrey. Documented fact. He takes a size 15 shoe and has the worst documented chat up lines in history. His name is Barry, and he's a lovely guy but his ex-Mrs, upon whom he remains fixated, remains to be convinced.

"I can't say that he's a good shag," she told us. "But he definitely exists. Just don't dance with him. His plates of meat will annahilate your toes. He's just a big gormless fucker really. And ironically he thinks he's suave and urbane. Wanker."

The Yeti is proven to exist by Mr and Mrs Newagebollox of Cleckheaton, Yorkshire, who told us that their son was christened Yeti Newagebollox, when a priest poured water on the infant's head while incanting some Bono-esque bullshit about being honest and truthful for ever.

Which quite frankly we found hard to stomach.

And finally (Thank God) Loch Ness Monster McGurk was the eldest son of Mr and Mrs McGurk, of Muirhouse Edinburgh, a couple of drug addicted ne'er do wells who vowed that their only child would "claim benefits along wi' the best of 'em" given time and a semi-decent education.

At which point the Spoof team buggered off to the fridge for a last beer before we lose consciousness.

More crap as we get it...

Make Skoob1999's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 plus 2?

9 12 22 4
66 readers are online right now!

Go to top