Glastonbury,UK/ Somewhere Adrift in the Mist of Uncertainty - Continued anxiety over the deterioration of the World's fast spreading virus of moral bankruptcy, has now spilled over to the Bastion of the World's Last Chance for Hope: the ever diminishing supply of Spoof Writers, the irreverent group of miscreants whose role was to shock people back to reality and restore the social order.
Known as loners, recluses, anti-social, unrepentant pokers of pointed petards at the decay of the moldering morass of character missteps inherent in society today, these anti-heroes were here- to- for immune to the petty foibles that brought others of their race down; that is until today when an occurrence of self doubt finally attacked the moral fiber of an icon of the Spoof Fraternity.
Monkey Woods, the almost ethereal God Like Creature who had created over 23,000 Spoof Classics was brought low by a severe anxiety attack and began to question, not only his being, but his purpose in life, and more importantly the quality of his work.
In a haunting plea, the prolific scribe reached out to his fellow Spoofers, seeking reassurance and moral reinforcement that his work really did have meaning. Though loved, and revered for his prolific output of work, and his award winning mentoring achievements in encouraging new, fledgling writers, the plea was quite morose, and somewhat unbecoming the legend.
"Made me want to Puke, actually, " said tough literary hack and Guardian Literary Critic Fergus McCarthy from somewhere in an Irish Pub, that was actually in Ireland, and not in New York City. "My image of Monkey is shattered, my ideals crushed, no one to look up to anymore....fuck, shit, crap...I'm lost!"
"It's definitely and ass/mess/fart breath/clusterfuck " said Royal Commentator, and Barrister of few, and usually obscure vocabulary words, the venerable and hauntingly obtuse Queen Mudder. She then rested her case.
Unfortunately, MW appears only the first to be laid low. Nick Fun, another writer, also now appears on the Forum, not only just to raise his "point" total, but somehow to also receive validation for his Drivel. While not as sympathetic a figure, as the now laid low Monkey, he is as well a Spoofer, and deserves some semblance of Pity as well.
A sleep deprived Skoob1999, said even he is starting to hallucinate from lack of sleep, spending 15 hours a day trudging to and fro from a job, leaving him little time to relax, Spoof a little, or even have a normal sex life.
The irrepressible Skoob said his nights have been fitful ever since a Penis & Vagina Vignette propelled him into the top 20 of the Spoof Hit Parade. "Now, mate, I can't even close my eyes without seeing the little pricks dancing around and I wonder how I can duplicate my success...always wondering where the next pussy will come from, and who will be my next big Prick! It's OVERWHELMING, trying to deal with the RESPONSIBILITY of it all!"
The every sympathetic BuckwheatsButt, the man with the Biggest Shoulder To Cry On, was philosophical as usual: "Fuckin' dinks, gotta' learn to take it like a man...soccer playing whimps...grow a pair and get over it! Gotta' keep writin', work your way out of it..who cares if no one loves you...we're talkin' about a public service here, not self affirmation....Dorks!"
The full ramifications of the malaise are not known yet, for The Spoof, allegedly claiming over 5,000 scribes, usually only hears from a handful of them on the Forum. Perhaps the remaining 4982 scribblers have either succumbed to the virus and have already expired, or have somehow self medicated themselves out of there severe depression.
Meanwhile, in a lab somewhere in Texas, Pharmacist Bitters claims she is working on a magic potion to ward off the spreading disease, and claims she hopes to have a cure by the time of the annual Spoof Picnic, scheduled for sometime in early summer on a deserted beach in South Florida, as soon as Buck and his platoon of Special Spoof Forces rid the area of interlopers and washed up Cuban and Haitian refugees.
Mdm. Bitters claims the pill will "clear minds, purify the soul and restore literary confidence,sexual potency, and appropriateness, with no long term ill effects." Bitters likens the drug to Methadone, the drug of choice of most Inter Net Publishers, addicted to Toasted Cheese Sandwiches.