Written by shea lo
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Topics: Pakistan

Thursday, 26 February 2009

image for Pakistan PM Gilani thanks Obama-Biden-Kerry for 'helping finance Swat Taliban deal'
you are now entering taliban country

Pakistani PM Yousuf Raza Gilani, who claims he is the 'real' leader of Pakistan says his country is B-R-O-K-E and publicly thanked the Obama administration for helping to finance the 'deal' with the Taliban in Swat.

" I want to personally thank Mr. Obama for saying in his Stimulus speech that he would be taxing all Americans earning over $250,000. This money can fill our Pakistani coffers. Also Senator Kerry who although he knows nothing about the real Pak-Army-ISI-mullah-militant nexus is willing at face value to pour billions of dollars into 'saving Pakistan'.

"We love this sort of alliance. We are able to hoodwink the Americans every time they want to do a cut and run. Now if we can get drone technology transferred then we can use US drones to stealthily attack India".

Reporters who asked for details of the Swat deal were told by the PM: "There really are no details as such. We asked them not to fight with us and they said OK, then they said how much money will you give us to stop fighting and we said name your price. So the Americans gave us money to give to the militants - it's just an 'honorable verbal handshake' between gentlemen".

When reminded that these were no gentlemen but barbaric militants who had overrun Swat and were terrorizing the locals an extremely-agitated Gilani said "No no these are the Good-Bad guys. It is Al-Qaeda who are the Bad-Bad guys. This is Holbrooke's definition so who are we to argue with him?"

Mr. Gilani insisted he is "firmly in control of all Pakistani territory where our flag flies even Swat". Meanwhile media images on Pakistani tv showed white flags of surrender flapping in the desolate Swat valley.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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