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Monday, 2 March 2009

image for Obama Transparency: Misunderstood Gitmo Detainees Disappear In Plain Sight Reappear in UK!
Going Back Underground: 2nd Chance for Rehabbed Detainees!

Guantanamo,Cuba/ London, England / International Terrorist Travel News - In keeping with President Obama's pledge of Transparency, likened to an invisible moving hand, Attorney General Eric Holder flew under the radar today landing in Gitmo in order to personally confirm that 8 detainees were freed on time.

Reports say that the 8 accused foreigners were loaded aboard a stealth bomber at the Clandestine Gitmo airfield, and flown super sonically to an undisclosed military airfield somewhere in the UK where they was released into the custody of a sympathetic welcoming committee, just in time for a "civil liberties march."

The group had been charged with a multitude of plots to bring in dirty bombs and place them in the NY City subway system, fly radio controlled geese into the intakes of commercial jets, and introduce salmonella into Peanut Factories around the nation, hoping to cause a massive break down in Home Land Security, and create chaos for the United States.

ACLU Attorneys for the detainees said there was no basis for the detentions and lobbied for their release, and arranged for a one time payment of $2M as "Reparations."

Colonel Felix Hood, commander of the MP detachment in charge of the Foreign Combatant Detainment Facility, was perplexed at the groups sudden disappearance. "All I know," said Hood, "was that a bunch of Spooks, I'm assuming they were from the CIA, barged into my office and demanded their release ."

"The head spook, I'm guessing he was an Afro American, called me a white racist coward for not mingling with our prisoners outside of detention hours, which are 8 am to 5 pm, and that he was here to insure that change occurred" Hood said.

Hood then said the contingent secured the accused, and left as quickly as they arrived, with reports from the airport indicating that the contingent was placed on a US Air Force Stealth Bomber for tans shipment.

The government in London was MUM on the subject, but an official for the BBC said they had learned that the 8 unjustly accused martyrs would not be charged with any crimes due to lack of evidence, nor would they be detained further. Efforts were being made to find them suitable government housing close to the jobs secured by the Home Transportation Office, and the Royal Bank of Scotland was hustling to expedite the $2M in US currency into British Pounds.

After reviewing the groups' extensive resumes, the BBC has confirmed that at least one will be assigned as a Tube Walker, inspecting the tracks in the tunnel from England to France looking for any dangerous debris that could cause a hazard or lead to unintended delays for the high speed train connecting the two countries.

Due to the long hours to be spent underground, the new employee has asked, and received, permission to carry his "Boom Box" with him. God Save the Queen, and Blessed be The One. Etc.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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