Wawa - A poll carried out the TheSpoof.com has determined the writer most resembling roadkill is Jesus Budda.
The result is based on a poll with seven votes cast and is thought to be accurate to within plus minus two to five percent.
Voting tabulated by the election committee is as follows:
Jesus Budda o%
Jesus Budda 0%
Jesus Budda 0%
All of the Above 71%
Can I write-in Jesus Budda 28%
Officially the winner is "All of the Above" with second place being "Can I write-in Jesus Budda".
As no writer matched the names of the first or second place winner the only eligible candidate according to the committee and winner is Jesus Budda with 0% of all votes, despite 1% of all votes being unaccounted for.
It is uncertain as to whether or not Mr. Budda cast a vote despite having full opportunity to do so.
Mr. Budda has agreed to attend the official ceremony in the roadkill capital of North America, Wawa, Ontario on July 1st of this year with the official presentation to be made by Canada's County gentleman Tommy Hunter in front of the iconic giant Canada Goose statue the town is famous for.
The award includes a trophy called the Lowton which resembles the Oscar stature only is made of stryene and has a bobble head with a thin mustache.
Mr. Budda is excited about the prospect of the ceremony and has been practicing his acceptance speech by lying still and silent in a prone position on the shoulder of roadways attracting crows.