Tijuana - (OMFG! Mess): A missing Texan fraudster accused of masterminding a $8 million Ponzi scam swindle has been named by the FBI as the head of a notorious Mexican cocaine cartel bankrolling the 30 March UK state visit of President Felipe Calderón.
Sir Allen Stanford's eponymous Antiguan bank has been identified as the top Caribbean slush fund for the Mexican chapter of the Non-Aligned Crack Barons' Association.
Last year his fetid crack dealing profits sponsored a $1 million-a-man match in the West Indies in a dry run ahead of the Calderón Administration's London jaunt to the Non-Aligned Crack Barons' Association matriarch Queen Elizabeth.
His Mexican drug cartel has been called one of the most violent disorganised crime gangs in the world and has carried out more mass shootings and beheadings of rivals than 'all the Taleban and radicalised Iraqi nutters put together' according to the CIA.
"Bang goes Stanford's Top Table seat at Buckingham Palace official state dinner, then," an unidentified MI5 source commented in London today.