Written by Steddyeddy
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Tuesday, 17 February 2009

image for Tehran-based Union demands shorter hours, expenses paid to families and longer fuses for members
Now is the hour of our discontent

An international union has come down hard on the EEC working week directive to complain that its members are becoming highly agitated that the working week is still 37.5 hours.

The IUHB - International Union of Homicide Bombers - based in Tehran, is also demanding that expenses connected with the work of their members, such as tube and bus fares, backpacks, belts, weed-killer, nails, video tapes and Halal McDonalds should retrospectively be paid to surviving members of their workers' families.

A spokesman for the Union, Al-Get Sumwhan Elztudu Dedurtywurq, reportedly brother-in-law of Iranian President Aihava Nodinnajaqet, is said to have told the President that there is the distinct likelihood his members might go on strike.

He already fought hard last year for equality of pay for men and women martyrs, and has been fighting for a 72-Virgin alternative for his female members, although one of his workers, Fatima Liqbeever, is said to be looking forward to her visit to heaven when she finishes her current contract at the Lahore Duty Free Shopping Plaza next month. She says that in the words of infidel cricketers, she's happy to bat for both sides.

Dedurtywurq said that, yes, he recognises there is a world recession at the moment, and that his members should be grateful for all the work they can get, even if they are only one-off contracts, but he simply doesn't want to blow this complaint up out of all proportions when his members could be spending quality time blowing themselves and innocent infidel bystanders up instead.

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