Dubai/UAE Raggedy Ass Arab News - Despite claims to the contrary, Allah is not smiling on his children in Dubai.
In addition to the recent revelation that the former playground of the rich and famous had turned into a running sewer with infidel stool samples decorating the beaches, another pollution issue has surfaced.
Reports leaking out of the country, as the UAE practices censorship, indicates over 800,000 expatriates are fleeing the country in droves, and leaving their abandoned cars at the Dubai airport causing a terrible parking problem.
It seems that UK investors have "out flipped" themselves, with real estate values plummeting 60% and even BLACK American Express cards being maxed out.
Economic police in Dubai report the failed real estate moguls are driving to the airport, leaving their keys and mortgages in the vehicle, and hopping the next plane out to "just about anywhere."
Sharia law, practiced in Dubai, mandates a series of unpleasant penalties for defaulting on financial obligations. Punishment could include castration, stoning, or bobbing for "apples" in the country's only sewerage treatment plant, and that's just for the men.
Women , not really recognized in the male dominant Arab world, could be kept as "Brood Mares for Bombs" wherein they are implanted with up to 8 embryos, housed in crib like brooding factories, and forced to replenish the ever dwindling human bomb supply needed through out the benevolent Muslim sphere of influence.
Reports in the local financial newspaper said that Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, known as "Big Al" by Bill Clinton, has consulted with world famous financier Bernie Madoff to come up with a plan to revitalize the economy.
Madoff, temporarily tied up in his $8M New York townhouse, is said to have dispatched his top financial aide, Barney Frank, to consult with the Sheik, and is said to have the full backing of Arab sympathizer Barack Obama to commit to an unlimited financial bailout.
Edicts preventing travelers of Jewish decent to travel to Dubai have been temporarily suspended until the current financial crisis is averted.
The only positive statistic noted is that public sex on beaches has ceased to exist, due to decreased libido brought on by the stress of financial ruin combined with the fact that UK tourists have been reduced to doing it standing up, since they can't find a pristine place to copulate on the beach.
Sheik Maktoum also said he would not be hosting the World Cup this year, and canceled his $35M sponsorship of David Beckham and his wife Victoria.