Many modern thinkers have suggested that homophobia is a disabling problem not just for gays but for the homohaters themselves.
As this theory has been applied to modern warfare, especially conflicts involving homophobic traditions like fundamentalist Islam, Southern Baptists and the Church of England, an innovation has arisen. The Gay Brigayde has demonstrated an unique ability to send the enemy running as the homophobic troops of the opposition flee from the feared contamination.
Gay Brigaydes have routed the enemy on the plains of Iraq, Afghanistan and on the campus of Jerry Falwell's Liberty University. President Obama is so impressed with the early results that he hopes to lift the don't ask, don't tell hypocritical US military policy. As he explained to the Joint Chiefs of Staff:
"When we integrate gays and straights, every battalion will have the fear inspiring power of the gay brigaydes!"