In a speech given to a group of school veterans who were starving as they huddled around their books, considered turning them into soup, President Obama gave another of his encouraging and enlightened speeches.
"There has been a dramatic change of attitude as a result of many sheople expressing their desire to become complete people.
A severe problem has been identified resulting from some people having lost their minds, and it has been discovered that there is now a severe epidemic of people who have never managed to develop the connection between heart and mind.
Research has shown that their are quite large numbers of people under the misguided impression that they have a right to control other people's lives. Their intrusive presence in today's society has resulted in a secondary mind-controlled disease, the symptoms of which are shown as a desire to be controlled by others.
Almost all of the people suffering from the former terribly debilitating control syndrome have been found to be holders of diplomatic passports.
The Galactic Federation, which dedicates itself to the disposal of stupidity, has presented this administration with a solution that is now being put into action.
We call upon the civil servants in all those departments that have been created by these diseased minds.
These civil servants are asked to help to organise trips to Israel for all diplomatic passport holders. The civil servants in Israel, who themselves have declared their intention to rid the planet of these diseased and infectious minds, have made arrangements to allow all passport holders every possible VIP facility as soon as they enter Israel. On entry, the diplomatic passport will be cancelled, and all holders invited to stay in Israel indefinitely. It is guaranteed that there will be no use of torture.
Citizens of the world are asked to assist by providing food and accommodation for all those Israeli citizens who wish to exit Israel in order to avoid the inbound contagiously diseased persons.
It is expected that within a couple of weeks or so, most diplomatic passport holders will be inside the boundaries of Israel and out of harms way.
In order to ensure that the insanity of these diplomats no longer affects the rest of the world, all Israeli nuclear armament facilities will be destroyed, and the civil servants of Israel who carry out this service will be honoured by planet earth's grateful citizens.
The cessation of all nuclear armament manufacture is declared as immediate, and all nuclear scientists are to pool their knowledge in order to discover a way for safe disposal of the existing nuclear arms, and the subsequent safe disposal of all nuclear waste.
With all of these people safely within Israel's boundaries, it is expected that the remaining 6 billion plus citizens of the planet will have a rapid intelligence and awareness increase due to the cessation of all forms of mind-control and thought restriction.
Planetary travel will become far easier, as there will be only two nations - Israel, and the rest. Travel throughout "The Rest" will be unrestricted, but travel into Israel will require a visa, and no exits will be allowed.