Written by rfreed
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Friday, 6 February 2009

image for All Religious Fundamentalists Shipped Off To Desert Island
One Of The Mancria Islands Resting Peacefully Not Knowing The Carnage That Would Soon Transpire

The entire world breathed a sigh of relief today as the entire lot of the world's extreme Fundamentalists were packed off to an obscure island where they can follow their religious doctrines by killing each other off without involving innocent bystanders. The first bunch was shipped out to Mancria near Borneo with their respective countries flying them out for free, happy to be rid of them.

Mancria has enough wild food on it to sustain the thousands who are being sent there. The Fundamentalists are being shipped out in waves as it is theorized that most will immediately proceed to kill off the Fundamentalists of other religions, thus constantly depopulating the island. For instance, the Taliban who had just arrived wasted no time whatsoever in decapitating half the Extremist Buddhists who were already there even though they weren't sure who they were. "We just saw that they were different than us and assumed they were infidels!" explained Abdama Blowpup as he took a break in the action. The arrival of a plane load of Texas Evangelical Fundamentalists soon balanced out the problem as they had been well outfitted by the NRA before they left.

Celebrations rang out throughout the rest of the world at the expulsion of the extremists. Women in Afghanistan threw off their burkas and ran through the streets naked, inspiring men of all ages who had never seen women nude before. In the deep south of the US people started copulating in the street to celebrate the demise of American Fundamentalism and its emphasis on no sex. In India moderate Hindus danced in the street with moderate Muslims and together with Pakistan both countries dumped their nuclear bombs in the ocean.

Palestinians and Israelis, both having lost half of their populations due to the exodus, suddenly found themselves with a lot of living space, food and freedom from doctrine and joyously threw open their borders not only to each other but to the whole world. With in a few days the newly concocted state of Israeliestine became the worlds biggest vacation destination.

China, having killed off all its religious quacks long ago, looked on and wondered what all the fuss was about.

When the last plane of Fundamentalists were dropped on Mancria, the island was sealed off by an international cordon of naval ships who did not allow anyone in or out. Two days later a few last shots were fired and screams screamed. Silence reigned thereafter. It is suspected that the religious extremists have at last achieved their goals of mutual annihilation and are happily departed to whatever respective heavens await them.

Make rfreed's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 plus 1?

8 6 3 2

Go to top