Tehran - (High-as-a-Kite Mess): Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has said his government has launched its first ever skunk bio-fueled space satellite 'purely for medicinal purposes'.
"It's a whopping great big lie that the Safir-2 rocket's payload uses ballistic missile technology designed to bombard Tel Aviv with Presidential-grade Pahlavi Bud pollen," Ahmadinejad protested.
"All our homegrown satellite industries have been positively vetted by the UN High Commissioner," the President added.
Iranian Health Ministry sources later claimed the new satellite will be monitoring essential medical supply deliveries - such as contra-allergens to wheezy Taleban poppy growers - on humanitarian grounds.
"Basically they're using it to tag Hawala dollar shipments to Afghani Opium warlords," a Pentagon source confirmed today.
Israeli Defense Minister Ehud Barak Obama is 69.