It was announced today that President Hava Nodinnajaquet of Iran is to receive the Nobel Prize next month.
President Hava Nodinnajaquet - sometimes mistaken for an ignorant, warmongering, nuclear-obsessed peasant called Mahmoud Ahmadinejad - when not calling for the destruction of the USA, Israel, Western Infidels and James Blunt, travels the country on his bicycle.
However, because he is president, one of his rules is that no bicycle in Iran should have a bell, because his own bicycle has never had one.
The Mullahs - those strange stern men with beards, dressed in black who typically tend to be barking mad - proposed that in honour of the president's wonderful leadership in respect of bicycles and their lack of bells, the committee in Norway should award President Hava Nodinnajaquet a Nobell Prize.
However, the Mullahs, in their deep wisdom and abhorence of 21st Century normality - not that it especially stops them boozing, shagging and wallowing in money - suggested that should President Hava Nodinnajaquet not be awarded the Nobel Prize, they will immediately order a Fatwah of some description against someone, as they haven't done that since Salman Rushdie and don't want to fall out of practice.