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Topics: Lord Lucan

Thursday, 29 January 2009

image for Body of Lord Lucan Has Been Found!
Lord Lucan's skull

One of the world's most bizarre mysteries has now been solved. The body of missing peer Lord Lucan, who has not been seen since his mysterious disappearance in 1974 following the brutal murder of his nanny has finally been recovered. His remains were found in a locked drawer of an antique Louis XV style desk to be sold by London auctioneers, Bonhams.

The furniture has been submitted by Lady Lucan who said that the desk was just gathering dust at her former home at 46 Lower Belgrave Street, London. She said;

"Following the high price paid for the Kray Twins underwear at auction last week, I thought someone might pay a fair price for it considering its macabre association. It was 'Lucky's' desk where he would send hours writing IOUs and failed business ventures. I haven't seen the key since he disappeared and would have thought that apart from a jar of moustache wax and nose hair scissors, it could be full of stocks and shares for all I know, so it's a gamble as to what it contains.

It is thought that the desk could realise up to £7,000.

Auction Porter, Richard Bucket from Acacia Avenue, Wimbledon, told In Seine News;

"When Fred an' me was carrying this old desk up the stairs, there was a rattling and rolling sound coming from the big draw in the middle. Well Fred used to be a bur...err locksmith an' he soon unpicked the lock so imagine our surprise when we found a skull complete with moustache and a bloodstained rolling pin. How 'e got there I anner the faintest!" he said.

Although one part of the mystery has been cleared up, the question remains whodunnit!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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