Estate agents Roquet & D'Iptherius today put up the Gaza Strip for sale, and a huge, dark green sign was put up on top of the ruins of a school, with the cleverly-worded phrase 'For Sale' written on it. The sign was soon shot down by an Israeli sniper, but beside the agents' head office in Damascus the following was pasted onto a lamppost:
'For Sale, the Gaza Strip. Previous owners: 2. Easily accessible living room with no walls, to allow the Mediterranean breezes to waft through the premises. Roof also removed, and can be removed again any time by passing Israeli tradesmen if desired.
Double glazing on all windows, to keep out the slight noise of jet engines screaming overhead every hour. Garden: a tasteful and bijou rockery, with blocks of concrete artistically scattered around the shrubbery, also carefully coated in terracotta-style dust.
Local shops are within walking distance, if you feel like a gentle stroll to Egypt, and doctors and hospitals are everywhere around the residence, though most of the staff are resting in a nearby cemetery at present.
Situated near the world-famous Phosphorus Light Show, which is shown ever week for visiting tourists. Ideal for first-time buyers and young families, large play park nearby where children can play at Cops and Israeli Robbers, and with live ammunition to liven things up a bit.
Local school is on holday for the next 2 years, and local hospital is closed for repairs, all generously paid for by the multinational company Bushcorpse.
Offers over £2-23, no time wasters please. Quick sale required, as owners wish to move to Lebanon.